************ Wedding Sermon on Romans 12:9-11 ************
By: Rev. Adrian Dieleman
This wedding sermon was preached on December 18, 2010
Romans 12:9-11
Wedding Sermon of David & Linda Dieleman
(Rom 12:9-11) Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. (10) Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. (11) Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.
David & Linda, your wedding text starts with the word "love." Some students were asked about love. Maybe a couple of them were in your class, Linda.WHY DO PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE?
-"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too." Andrew, age 6
-"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell ... That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." Mae, age 9
-"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." Manuel, age 8
WHAT IS FALLING IN LOVE LIKE?
-"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." Glenn, age 7
-"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." Bart, age 9
HOW DO YOU MAKE LOVE ENDURE?
-"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." Dick, age 7
-"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." Dave, age 8
Wouldn't it be nice if love was as simple as these students say and think? Unfortunately, love involves a lot more than this.
The Greek word for love in your text is "agape." This is the word the Bible uses to describe the love of Jesus. (1Jn 4:10) This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Jesus shows us agape love makes sacrifices for the benefit of the other person. Agape love is a "giving" love. Agape love seeks to give rather than to get. Agape love keeps on loving even when the other person doesn't respond; agape love keeps on loving without asking for anything in return. Love, agape love, David & Linda, is the starting point.
Now, I want you to notice what your wedding text builds on this foundation. It tells us that agape love "must be sincere." The English word for "sincere" comes from two Latin words, "sine cera," meaning "without wax." "Sine cera" is an expression used by pottery makers. At the time of Jesus and Paul, dishonest dealers would accept cracked figurines and fill the cracks with wax before offering them for sale. But honest merchants would display their uncracked pottery with signs that read, "sine cera," "without wax." In other words, their pottery was not cracked or broken in any way.
"Love must be sincere." Without wax. This means agape love must be from the heart. It must be free from hypocrisy or pretense. It must be shown and given not for your sake but for the sake and good of the other person.
Judas is probably the best example of an agape love that was not sincere: in the Garden of Gethsemane he came to Jesus and kissed Him (Mt 26:49). Jesus exposed the true nature of Judas' love when He said, "Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?" (Lk 22:48). In my ministry I have across more than one couple who made a big pretense of loving each other – in public anyway – while at home they fight like cats and dogs; we would have to say their love also is not sincere. Jesus, of course, is the best example of an agape love that was and is always sincere.
Notice what else your text says: "Hate what is evil; cling to what is good." By "evil" your text means what is "harmful, damaging, offensive, abusive." By "good" your text means what is "gentle, tenderhearted, kind." When we join this to agape love, we see that agape love strives, to the very utmost of its power, to avoid anything which is harmful, injurious, damaging, offensive, or abusive to the other person. Within the marriage relationship there is to be no physical, mental, verbal, or emotional abuse. Rather, both partners are to be gentle and tenderhearted towards each other.
"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love." Here we see the use of another Greek word for love: the word "philos." "Philos" is a "sharing" love. As we talked about in pre-marital counseling, you need common interests, common attractions, and a sharing of many things. Husband and wife are to spend time with one another, take walks on the beach with one another, and talk with one another.
"Honor one another above yourselves." Both partners are to take the lead in showing respect to and for the other person – especially in public.
"Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord." David and Linda, you had a garden in Linda's backyard this past Summer. As you found out, vegetables don't just grow anywhere. They need the right kind of soil and care. Likewise, you need the right kind of soil to grow agape love. Agape love flourishes in only one kind of soil: a heart that serves the Lord, and loves the Lord, and worships the Lord.
Agape love is so easy to pledge. On the wedding day and during the honeymoon and the first weeks or months of marriage both of you, I am sure, will strive to give this love. But you will not always find it to be so easy and natural to give this love. There are at least two reasons why I say this.
First, we are sinners. We are sinners filled with evil, hate, lust, greed, envy, malice, anger, discord, selfish ambition, and the like. All of these prevent us and hinder us from always having and showing agape love.
Second, we live and work in a world which focuses on the self rather than the other. Self-centered, self-fulfillment, self-pleasure, self-glory – these all characterize the modern man and woman. This too does not help the cause of agape love.
Do you know what we need to make agape love work? Do you know what we need to show agape love? Both of you – and all of us – need to have a heart that is changed, a heart that is new. Which is why the congregation is being asked to sing Linda's favorite song in a couple of minutes: "Change My Heart, O God."
David and Linda, you have both confessed faith in Jesus as Savior and Lord. You appeared before the elders and you stood before God and His people and announced to all that you love the Lord and want to serve Him. And, you have told me you want to serve God in your marriage.
When you serve and love Jesus, your heart has been changed. You are filled with the agape love of Jesus. And this love overflows from your life to your marriage partner and others.
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